3.27.2010

about my pen (blind sketches and other things)

       
- segment of blind sketch (Lucrezia and Melissa at lunch); March 2010

...

... it would be a good idea, now that i'm thawed out, to go back inside and start studying again. But, i must admit- it's so indulgent and comforting to see this ink flow so freely to the page, and the shadow of my pen as it writes, then ever so briefly bobs up for air before dipping down again and releasing itself onto the fibers of this white paper.  It's beautiful to see the ink getting soaked into every crevice that supports it willingly and lovingly, promising its long existence.
Being here in Italy makes me think about birth cycles, generation gaps and the overall population and how it affects economy.  It's reassuring when all this stuff that seems so grand really ends up (or begins, rather) with its roots in such simple, basic, seemingly uncontrollable actions. But that's everything, really.
Love Me Tender, by Elvis, is playing in the car parked in front of me. The woman inside this grey car is smoking a cigarette and making a phone call. I'm thinking about the open, vast, expansive denseness and richness that is my motherland, America...
Now Teddy Bear is playing... remember the commercial for Teddy Grahams? Makes me think of New Year's Eve when i ate almost the entire box of Teddy Grahams (chocolate flavor) leaning on the couch in the den. It also makes me think of my dad singing softly, and how my mom always said my dad was the most handsome because he bore a striking resemblance to Elvis in his younger days.

- journal entry; March 2009

Share
|






2 comments:

satyagrahi said...

"...birth cycles, generation gaps and the overall population and how it affects economy. It's reassuring when all this stuff that seems so grand really ends up (or begins, rather) with its roots in such simple, basic, seemingly uncontrollable actions. But that's everything, really."

That's interesting... Life/society can be perceived as overwhelmingly complex and all so impermanent, but like you said underlying that there is something much more simple, and that isn't restricted by time... I think the way we navigate through the external world is through holding onto meaning and a positive vision internally, being true to ourselves, and that we find what it's really all about is personal and social transformation, that is experienced not as some complex process, but as the blossoming of peace and happiness... a feeling of connection, of deep resonance/love is what we need, with others and place, which can be touched in seemingly unimportant moments, like when eating Teddy Grahams near family. :)

I hope your heart's dream becomes more and more clear and you wake up into it.

sharon estacio said...

Colin,

I'm coming back to this now at a time when it couldn't be more pertinent.
Thank you so much for all of your kind words and steadfast support.

I, too, hope (if it hasn't already happened for you) that your heart's dream becomes more and more clear and you wake up into it...

So beautiful, this image! I aspire to it!

~ s