a film by sharon estacio*
filming, editing, photography, text, solo performance & choreography: Sharon Estacio
music: Kanye West, Sonic Youth, Pussycat Dolls (Amici clip)
originally commissioned by Women In Motion: BLUEPRINTS
as part of the Estrogenius Festival 2008
as part of the Estrogenius Festival 2008
artist's note:
In the past year I've had the pleasure of asking myself the question of who I've become and what I'm trying to be as a performer; in the process of being held in limbo between two countries, I've been afforded much time in isolation. And in remaining the quiet vessel of observation (although, admittedly, many times out of fear and intimidation of interacting) I have created my blueprint; a display of all those that have informed me, educated me, influenced me and built me thus far. You are seeing me, as I am, now; and what I see, in this very moment.
*performance note:
In the performance space was an installation (placed below the film projection) of names of family members, friends and various people of significance that I've crossed paths with; the names were written on preserved leaves gathered in Vermont September 2008.
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9 comments:
This is awesome.
Doug says its awesome too!
xxxoxo
Awesome. And the leaves are a nice touch.
watching the film for the third time - I love the details of movement everywhere - and perhaps it was intentional in the way you filmed it - but it has a beautiful empty/naked feeling -
(besides the dancing in your undies! -though I do love that part as well!)
I am coming from one job that ends at 5pm and about to head to another job in a kitchen that starts at 6pm. I watch it. I skim through because i have to take a nap before my next job. I don't whether to cry or to be happy. Its beautiful. I am happy to see you. I am happy your artistic blood is bleeding on my screen. I am happy you have so many hidden messages in this piece. Following your dreams while documenting the truth as best as you can tell it. Very inspirational at worst, totally perfect in every way for what I am going through and what is currently the state of the world at best. If I ever see myself on the wall I will be compelled to change course. (I did hear myself in the music *wink*) But for now I am taking a 30 minute nap before my next job. Thank you.
P.S. oh yeah and from a dumb american guy's perspective, you were in your bra dancing. Yay. Nap time. Peace
sharonya
for starters,
i fire a gun in honor of your commitment
to yourself.
cap cap cap!
oh you are a lifesaver. i have insomnia tonight. it is 415AM and your film is such a reassuring way to connect to my OWN wigged out sense of solitude and restlessness by connecting to something perhaps similar that you are feeling. it made you feel far away, like carol anne in poltergeist who gets sucked into that TV set, voice and body become all echoey, images of everything and nothing flash before my eyes. and i want to reach out and get sucked in there with you. it is magentic imagery. and lots of gorgeous movement. it makes me think of kinetics as the only language that might ever really get anything done, the only one to work anything out that relates to human conditions. but like a dance, this working out is gone soon after it arrives. so we start over. i like that i can see you all over the film but barely see you. i love your music choices and the strange bits of narrative and little decisions that you make throughout about what you say about what you were feeling in a certain place.
there's more.
we can email about it.
you're amazing.
xoxoxo
love
whirlamina
p.s. i always love seeing you in your bra and panties. JK. cap cap cap!
this is really wonderful, Sharon!
okay, I too like the bra and underwear. Also because those moments were so "arrested" - so removed from all the turmoil -chaos - agony of riches "below" . There was something so quiet, still, heavenly, beautiful about the bra parts - the mirror really adding to that somehow too. Sharon you are really really good at capturing a scene, on camera and in words. I second Whirlamina in really appreciating what you choose to pull, to tell, from a scene, and it's not always the scene we are looking at but one we've seen or will see, so we have to think back to it. It captures the reality of days, moments, lifetimes that we have to wing, we have to make up, all on our own, with no one to help us. We have to live through them. And it's not about who's around and who's not...and it is. So it all comes back to us. Beautiful that you come back to "me." All this is told very strong and very poetically - as in, it is what it is. While you are telling it I know you are living it. And so you help us live too.
I LOVE the TV dance moments -- how torrid! how fabulous! the fall down the stairs! the dancer who forgets the steps! Nightmares, pure nightmares.
all my love,
Clare
Wow. I loved particularly the scene in the field: you rolling around at high-speeds on the hill, and you in a halo of sunset. So beautiful.
I must say, I was brought nearly to tears at the end. Because its so close to me.
But it seems you've truly found some peace in all of it...and yourself? or a new yourself?
Are the preserves, to you, the stowing away of observations...observations to be stewed and sweetened...that will become or have become a new thing, a new you?
Also so apparent is your sucking of dance out of every possible crack in that culture, wherever it lurks, knowingly or not. And that's inspiring.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
Love, Mer
Mer-
yes, i definitely did think of the stowing away-ness of observations, particularly since this is the season to do so; but also saw the idea of these observations helping me in self-preservation; that sort of internal struggle and defense mode that i've been in and fully experiencing during my transition.
so i began to see all these parallels; i.e. myself on a wall as a way of recording a distinct moment in time (you leave your mark for others to see, even after you're gone), with preserves and transitions and how the fall/winter seasons are about all of that- the stowing away, the death, the preparation for slumber and internal rest... all of it.
anyways, what i am happiest to hear is that you and others were able to make a heartfelt connection to it; that it spoke to maybe some of your own personal concerns? that is the golden nugget i treasure the most.
xoxoxo
thank you all!!!!
s
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