1.27.2010
10.09.2009
9.18.2009
9.04.2009
new things
i've had this numbness in my fingers for the past three months or so.
i probably pulled something while taking class and am feeling the repercussions of not tending to my muscles in the way that i should; however, i prefer to look at it as a sign of subconscious apprehensiveness. although i say i am ready to befriend this new country- its culture, its people and this new life that i've made for myself, i can't help but notice this underlying fear and nervousness that ebbs and flows like a tide beneath me... i'm reminded of it every time i hear its subtle slap against the dock that is my brain; like a nervous tap or poke of someone i'm trying to ignore. so every time i touch something and realize that i can't completely feel it through this layer of tingling, i see it as an unwillingness to accept the reality that i am starting over from scratch. my second life is beginning, and i am learning how to walk and talk all over again.
6.11.2009
the joy of less
On leaving a life as a successful journalist in New York for a simpler life in Japan.
5.24.2009
'and now, a poem'
La felicità è amore, nient'altro.
Felice è chi sa amare.
Amare è ogni moto della nostra anima in cui essa sente se stessa e percepisce la propria vita.
Felice è dunque chi è capace di amare molto.
Ma amare e desiderare non sono la stessa cosa.
L'amore e desiderio fattosi saggio;
L'amore non vuole avere, vuole soltanto dare.
(H. Hesse)
3.18.2009
loneliness
i get the sense that i've been fortunate enough to have belonged in many places, in many different manners.
and yet, at the same time, i sometimes feel like i haven't truly, fully belonged anywhere.
i feel that there are parts of me 'on loan' in various locations... in other places, i've permanently left fragments or scraps that every so often i go back and maintain; and i always wonder if i should've brought that part with me instead of leaving it behind... or should i have stayed with that part instead of detaching it in the first place?
and yet, at the same time, i sometimes feel like i haven't truly, fully belonged anywhere.
i feel that there are parts of me 'on loan' in various locations... in other places, i've permanently left fragments or scraps that every so often i go back and maintain; and i always wonder if i should've brought that part with me instead of leaving it behind... or should i have stayed with that part instead of detaching it in the first place?
3.07.2009
a study in crouching
premiered at Dixon Place October 2007
recorded at White Oak plantation November 2007
choreography and performance: Sharon Estacio
music: Amy Winehouse
1.27.2009
for february
The more I think about it, the more I realize there
is nothing more artistic than to love others.
- Vincent Van Gogh
is nothing more artistic than to love others.
- Vincent Van Gogh
1.23.2009
in an open letter to Barack Obama
... A good model of how to "work with the enemy" internally is presented
by the Dalai Lama, in his endless caretaking of his soul as he
confronts the Chinese government that invaded Tibet. Because, finally,
it is the soul that must be preserved, if one is to remain a credible
leader. All else might be lost; but when the soul dies, the connection
to earth, to peoples, to animals, to rivers, to mountain ranges,
purple and majestic, also dies. And your smile, with which we watch
you do gracious battle with unjust characterizations, distortions and
lies, is that expression of healthy self-worth, spirit and soul, that,
kept happy and free and relaxed, can find an answering smile in all of
us, lighting our way, and brightening the world.
We are the ones we have been waiting for.
In Peace and Joy,
Alice Walker
11.26.2008
11.25.2008
the prayer
just in time for the holidays...
a little ditty created at the dragon's egg july 2008
performed by clare byrne and sharon estacio
edited by sestacio
11.06.2008
I am back and I feel like I want to tell you.....
thoughts on sustainability
from A Choreographer's Blog:
http://kinesisproject.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-am-back-and-i-feel-like-i-want-to.html#links
10.31.2008
myself on a wall (or, preserves); preserves (or, myself on a wall)
a film by sharon estacio*
filming, editing, photography, text, solo performance & choreography: Sharon Estacio
music: Kanye West, Sonic Youth, Pussycat Dolls (Amici clip)
originally commissioned by Women In Motion: BLUEPRINTS
as part of the Estrogenius Festival 2008
as part of the Estrogenius Festival 2008
artist's note:
In the past year I've had the pleasure of asking myself the question of who I've become and what I'm trying to be as a performer; in the process of being held in limbo between two countries, I've been afforded much time in isolation. And in remaining the quiet vessel of observation (although, admittedly, many times out of fear and intimidation of interacting) I have created my blueprint; a display of all those that have informed me, educated me, influenced me and built me thus far. You are seeing me, as I am, now; and what I see, in this very moment.
*performance note:
In the performance space was an installation (placed below the film projection) of names of family members, friends and various people of significance that I've crossed paths with; the names were written on preserved leaves gathered in Vermont September 2008.
10.28.2008
9.02.2008
gingerly
june 11
This had to have been the most perfect day to chat with Meredith in what seemed to be an impression, or wedge of a Roman ampitheatre in the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens.
We talked about language, and family- how it feels to try and enter the hive without disrupting the flow... attempting to acclimate as quietly as possible, yet feeling oversaturated by the stimuli you've been immersed in.
At first, your role as an outsider seems a most delicate one, making simple things such as getting the morning bread feel incredibly daunting; everyone is so set in their ways and change plays the unwelcome stranger/squatter.
There's a period of time within newness when people either aren't or are willing to accept. For the newcomer, that moment seems to suspend itself in midair and time stops, just enough for people to get a good look at you from all angles, tell you what they think, and move on.
The scent of the roses is wonderfully dizzying... I feel my weight resting comfortably, confidently on this bench back in New York.
6.09.2008
martha
There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.
-Martha Graham to Agnes de Mille
-Martha Graham to Agnes de Mille
4.23.2008
4.20.2008
bobbing heads
Chrysa Parkinson left us at the end of our Klein class in Brussels with a gem: that if we have the potential to 'untrain' our eyes- our perception of things- we have the potential to reveal the intrigue and mystery in everyday motion.
It's one of those things you already know, but it sure makes a world of difference when you are reminded to activate it.
Hence the beautiful bobbing, floating head image when you view walking and running upside-down...and the amusing familiarity of people and their 'isms'- twitching noses, clenching fists, scratching and stretching and blinking and wincing and shrugging- every day, every minute is full.
It's one of those things you already know, but it sure makes a world of difference when you are reminded to activate it.
Hence the beautiful bobbing, floating head image when you view walking and running upside-down...and the amusing familiarity of people and their 'isms'- twitching noses, clenching fists, scratching and stretching and blinking and wincing and shrugging- every day, every minute is full.
4.13.2008
les gaufres
VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
Interesting forward that I received. I got to the end and was like, hm. ok
Here's a little update on my recent trip to Brussels:
I spent the week in my friends Tarek and Laia's house of an apartment. It's the top floor of an old building in the center of Brussels, about 10 minutes away from the Brussels Central Train Station and 5 minutes from the Grand Place. Imagine being a dancer and having a two bedroom, two bathroom (full bathrooms), kitchen, living room and terrace 2 floor (that's right- 2) apartment in the center of town that you can actually afford without either starving yourself or promising your firstborn child to your landlord. Amazing.
Aside from that, I love the vibe there; the city is so vibrant and alive with contemporary art happening everywhere.
Tarek, Ogbitse and I walked over to the park Thursday and just sat around watching circus performers practice on tightropes secured between trees and soothingly lob and spin soft balls encased in striped socks.
Apparently the circus schools here are well known, people come from all over; and instead of coming to the park to study with schoolbooks, they come with their tightropes and other various props.
Only thing that was a downer was realizing how expensive the cost of living was here- got robbed at the Asian market paying 9 Euro for two bunches of greens. But it was good to know that they also have an organic food market here; Tarek and Laia bought all their food from the Bio Markt so we always ate well.
And of course I had beer. And waffles. And chocolate. The cafes and bars are so lax- most of them you can still smoke in; they reminded me of my first visit to Europe when I would notice ashtrays in the elevators. On one of our nights out I actually met a Sicilian girl, Gabi, who told me of various artists in and around Italy...I was happy to discover that I felt somewhat relieved being able to speak Italian with her; I wonder if some of that had to do with the fact that my French is now near non-existent... but it's not like they don't also speak English and Flemish there- well, not like I know Flemish, but for some reason speaking English felt kind of wrong?
I played Phase 10 (quite possibly the longest card game in the history of card games) for the first time in Tarek's kitchen with Laia, Ogbitse and Ben. Ben is a breakdancer from Brussels, Laia a dancer from Spain, Tarek a dancer from Chicago and Ogbitse a dancer from Jersey/NY (cause it's practically the same *wink wink*). It was a melting pot there, and I felt right at home. Laia & I had actually met in 1999 while dancing in Salzburg at SEAD; it's crazy how our paths ended up crossing in this way.
Tarek's friend Sahid came over the last night and made a tagine, his specialty (simply because we happened to have brought it up in a conversation a couple of nights before, when I embarrassed the crap out of myself pronouncing it like a cowgirl from Kentucky). He served the tagine in a platter, and we all ate together from this huge plate (as tradition) and sopped up this delicious broth with chunks of bread that were just scattered around the table. Afterwards we went out to the corner cafe and had some beers and I met several new friends through Tarek's Argentinian friend Cecilia (who had just come back from surfing in Morocco); later that night I became famous for doing the 'Shannon'...
Ben 'deejaying' post-tagine/ Tarek and his NY dance (albeit brief):
Interesting forward that I received. I got to the end and was like, hm. ok
Here's a little update on my recent trip to Brussels:
I spent the week in my friends Tarek and Laia's house of an apartment. It's the top floor of an old building in the center of Brussels, about 10 minutes away from the Brussels Central Train Station and 5 minutes from the Grand Place. Imagine being a dancer and having a two bedroom, two bathroom (full bathrooms), kitchen, living room and terrace 2 floor (that's right- 2) apartment in the center of town that you can actually afford without either starving yourself or promising your firstborn child to your landlord. Amazing.
Aside from that, I love the vibe there; the city is so vibrant and alive with contemporary art happening everywhere.
Tarek, Ogbitse and I walked over to the park Thursday and just sat around watching circus performers practice on tightropes secured between trees and soothingly lob and spin soft balls encased in striped socks.
Apparently the circus schools here are well known, people come from all over; and instead of coming to the park to study with schoolbooks, they come with their tightropes and other various props.
Only thing that was a downer was realizing how expensive the cost of living was here- got robbed at the Asian market paying 9 Euro for two bunches of greens. But it was good to know that they also have an organic food market here; Tarek and Laia bought all their food from the Bio Markt so we always ate well.
And of course I had beer. And waffles. And chocolate. The cafes and bars are so lax- most of them you can still smoke in; they reminded me of my first visit to Europe when I would notice ashtrays in the elevators. On one of our nights out I actually met a Sicilian girl, Gabi, who told me of various artists in and around Italy...I was happy to discover that I felt somewhat relieved being able to speak Italian with her; I wonder if some of that had to do with the fact that my French is now near non-existent... but it's not like they don't also speak English and Flemish there- well, not like I know Flemish, but for some reason speaking English felt kind of wrong?
I played Phase 10 (quite possibly the longest card game in the history of card games) for the first time in Tarek's kitchen with Laia, Ogbitse and Ben. Ben is a breakdancer from Brussels, Laia a dancer from Spain, Tarek a dancer from Chicago and Ogbitse a dancer from Jersey/NY (cause it's practically the same *wink wink*). It was a melting pot there, and I felt right at home. Laia & I had actually met in 1999 while dancing in Salzburg at SEAD; it's crazy how our paths ended up crossing in this way.
Tarek's friend Sahid came over the last night and made a tagine, his specialty (simply because we happened to have brought it up in a conversation a couple of nights before, when I embarrassed the crap out of myself pronouncing it like a cowgirl from Kentucky). He served the tagine in a platter, and we all ate together from this huge plate (as tradition) and sopped up this delicious broth with chunks of bread that were just scattered around the table. Afterwards we went out to the corner cafe and had some beers and I met several new friends through Tarek's Argentinian friend Cecilia (who had just come back from surfing in Morocco); later that night I became famous for doing the 'Shannon'...
Ben 'deejaying' post-tagine/ Tarek and his NY dance (albeit brief):
3.28.2008
the senses
But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favorite fountain? And then do it again the next day?
Because the world is so corrupted, misspoken, unstable, exaggerated and unfair, one should trust only what one can experience with one's own senses, and this makes the senses stronger in Italy than anywhere in Europe. This is why, [Luigi] Barzini says, Italians will tolerate hideously incompetent generals, presidents, tyrants, professors, bureaucrats, journalists and captains of industry, but will never tolerate incompetent "opera singers, conductors, ballerinas, courtesans, actors, film directors, cooks, tailors..." In a world of disorder and disaster and fraud sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. Pleasure cannot be bargained down. And sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real.
- Elizabeth Gilbert
(thanks, jessi! and all those who suggested her to me!)
Because the world is so corrupted, misspoken, unstable, exaggerated and unfair, one should trust only what one can experience with one's own senses, and this makes the senses stronger in Italy than anywhere in Europe. This is why, [Luigi] Barzini says, Italians will tolerate hideously incompetent generals, presidents, tyrants, professors, bureaucrats, journalists and captains of industry, but will never tolerate incompetent "opera singers, conductors, ballerinas, courtesans, actors, film directors, cooks, tailors..." In a world of disorder and disaster and fraud sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. Pleasure cannot be bargained down. And sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real.
- Elizabeth Gilbert
(thanks, jessi! and all those who suggested her to me!)
3.13.2008
arroz caldo with chicken
1 cup rice
1 small chicken
1 inch cube ginger
2 segments garlic, chopped fine
1 small onion, chopped
2 tbsps. lard (or vegetable oil)
2 tbsps. patis (fish sauce)
6 cups water
2 stalks green onion
Dress and cut the chicken into convenient pieces, wash and clean well. Pare and slice the ginger thin. Saute the garlic, ginger and onion. Add the chicken and season with 2 tablespoonfuls patis. Cover, allow to simmer a few minutes. Add the rice and water, stirring all ingredients together to avoid sticking to the sides of the pan. Cook over low heat for 20 minutes or until chicken and rice are cooked. Add the chopped green onions before serving.
from Recipes of the Philippines as compiled and edited by Enriqueta David-Perez
note: the best when you're sick! i like to double the rice (i use brown rice) and mix water with equal parts chicken stock for more flavor.
when reheating add more chicken stock.
this lifted my spirits as i was recovering from being sick in the midst of packing for my big move- 2 simultaneous moves, in fact; the first being the move out of my home of 6 years on Central Park North in South Harlem; the second being my first move out of the city, out of the country...to Florence, Italy.
filipino food is my rock.
1 small chicken
1 inch cube ginger
2 segments garlic, chopped fine
1 small onion, chopped
2 tbsps. lard (or vegetable oil)
2 tbsps. patis (fish sauce)
6 cups water
2 stalks green onion
Dress and cut the chicken into convenient pieces, wash and clean well. Pare and slice the ginger thin. Saute the garlic, ginger and onion. Add the chicken and season with 2 tablespoonfuls patis. Cover, allow to simmer a few minutes. Add the rice and water, stirring all ingredients together to avoid sticking to the sides of the pan. Cook over low heat for 20 minutes or until chicken and rice are cooked. Add the chopped green onions before serving.
from Recipes of the Philippines as compiled and edited by Enriqueta David-Perez
note: the best when you're sick! i like to double the rice (i use brown rice) and mix water with equal parts chicken stock for more flavor.
when reheating add more chicken stock.
this lifted my spirits as i was recovering from being sick in the midst of packing for my big move- 2 simultaneous moves, in fact; the first being the move out of my home of 6 years on Central Park North in South Harlem; the second being my first move out of the city, out of the country...to Florence, Italy.
filipino food is my rock.
1.26.2008
creative log
i think i've been floating for awhile now...floating on it.
rather than letting it go.
at one point in a conversation with clare byrne, we likened the creative log to a successful bowel movement-
if you have the patience not to force it, it will come smoothly, effortlessly and all in one piece.
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